1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,268 (man on TV) 'Thank you, Spiro.' 2 00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,803 'So come and share in the splendor' 3 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,172 'of Navajo Meadows timeshares.' 4 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,174 'Just 30 minutes from Broken Hole' 5 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,844 'but a world away from your cares.' 6 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,614 [applauding] 7 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:19,718 How about that Spiro Agnew? Isn't he great? 8 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,154 Yes. And so versatile. 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,590 So, what do you say now, Willie, Kate? 10 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:30,095 Are you committed to the concept of timeshare condominium living? 11 00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,431 (both) No. 12 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,833 Maybe if we took one more look at the video. 13 00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,070 No. No, please, no more. 14 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,738 Excuse me, would you? 15 00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,242 - Harry. - Mm-hmm? 16 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,877 Put the pen away. 17 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,749 Imagine that. 18 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,685 We could be neighbors with Spiro Agnew! 19 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,324 Think about it. Don't you have a lot of questions? 20 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,962 The only thing I have is an overwhelming desire 21 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:07,733 to get the people you invited out of this house. 22 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:12,838 Okay, okay. But don't let them leave before you get the prize. 23 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,573 I feel it this time. 24 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,376 You're gonna win us that Chevy Blazer. 25 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,814 Nobody wins the Chevy Blazer. 26 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:26,552 That's what R. L. Smith of South Carolina used to think. 27 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,289 [theme music] 28 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,519 [music continues] 29 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,983 [instrumental music] 30 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:36,722 Yes, I'm canceling that appointment. 31 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:39,258 Well, I don't feel that I have any use 32 00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:43,061 for a home flotation tank. 33 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:47,766 I suppose I do sound like I could use one. Goodbye. 34 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,869 ALF, are you sure that's all the appointments you set up? 35 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,204 Yeah, yeah. 36 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:55,340 You know you just blew our shot at winning the round trip 37 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,876 on the Fun Bus to Vegas? 38 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,414 If I told you once, I told you a thousand times. 39 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:06,018 You're not to invite salesmen into the house! 40 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:09,388 Well, it is funny how that hasn't sunk in yet. 41 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,191 Why do you suppose that is? 42 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,027 Because you don't listen. 43 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,029 No, that's not it. 44 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,265 I have to punish you. 45 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:23,468 Should I assume the position? 46 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:26,538 Go to the attic until we decide what to do with you. 47 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,975 - No. - No? What do you mean, no? 48 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:34,079 I mean I'm not going. What do you think about that? 49 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,715 Ooh. Your turn, dad. 50 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,684 As long as you're living under this roof 51 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,552 you'll do what we tell you to do. 52 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,888 Well, in that case, I'm out of here. 53 00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:46,592 I'm hitting the bricks. I'm history, I'm vapor. 54 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,761 Yeah, sure. We've heard that before. 55 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:53,198 Yeah. Well, not another day under tyranny's heavy thumb. 56 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,934 Goodbye, Willie. 57 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,704 Goodbye, Kate. Goodbye, children. 58 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:02,374 I think I shall miss you most of all. 59 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,143 Yeah. Okay, go. 60 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,814 We'll warn you just before the automatic sprinklers go on. 61 00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:12,084 Don't bother. This time I mean it. 62 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:17,756 If there's one thing that alien has learned in his time on Earth 63 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,659 it's how to make an exit. 64 00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:26,064 (ALF) 'Oh, lordy, lordy, I'm free at last!' 65 00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,199 [door closes] 66 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:28,600 See? 67 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,604 [instrumental music] 68 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,108 There he is. I can see him. 69 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,643 Where? I don't see anything. 70 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,645 See that shadow right by the garage? 71 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,446 If he thinks I'm gonna give in to him again 72 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,982 he's got another thing coming. 73 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,753 Well, no matter what, the sprinklers come on at 9:30. 74 00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:50,856 And you know how musty he smells when he's wet. 75 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,993 I'll get my jacket. 76 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,697 [instrumental music] 77 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,973 Oh. Well, that settles it. 78 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,842 I am my own worst enemy. 79 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,577 I could be watching "Beauty And The Beast" 80 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,579 right now. 81 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,281 What I wouldn't give to have a great setup 82 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,983 in a sewer like that. 83 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,486 Wait a minute. 84 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:26,158 If I go back now, they'll never take me seriously. 85 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,194 But they never did take me seriously. 86 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,929 Why, I ought to.. 87 00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,399 I'm out of here. 88 00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:35,634 (Willie) ALF? 89 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,670 ALF? 90 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,107 Hey, ALF? 91 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:44,943 [sprinklers sputtering] 92 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:47,179 Oh, no. 93 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,052 [instrumental music] 94 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:00,759 - Oh, honey. You're soaked. - No kidding. 95 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,796 Where's ALF? Wasn't he out there? 96 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:09,434 No, no, the, uh, the shadow turned out to be a lawn chair. 97 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:14,906 And that's the last time a lawn chair is going to disobey me. 98 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,944 Well, you know, he's never carried it 99 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:22,214 to this extreme before. I hope he's okay. 100 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,849 He'll be okay, he'll be fine. 101 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:27,719 As long as he stays quiet, maintains a low profile 102 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,955 stays out of trouble.. 103 00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,022 [sighs] 104 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,057 He's dead. 105 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,563 [instrumental music] 106 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,735 And this was my grandmother's snowstorm paperweight. 107 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:47,939 See, when you shake it, it snows. 108 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,141 Whoa. 109 00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,344 So she left you the bulk of her estate, huh? 110 00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,012 [glass shatters] 111 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:59,184 - Oh. - That was an accident. I swear. 112 00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,786 I was nowhere near it. 113 00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,922 Um....that's okay, ALF. 114 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,591 I still have the box it came in. 115 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,560 These things happen. 116 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,362 Really? 117 00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:12,631 What else you got? 118 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,400 Willie sounded awfully mad on the phone. 119 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,803 What did you two fight about? 120 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,371 What's it always about? 121 00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,907 I just invited some people over to talk about 122 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,410 timeshare living in New Mexico. 123 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,212 Ooh, timeshares. 124 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,282 - Did they bring pamphlets? - Yeah. 125 00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:35,554 They were like Jehovah's Witnesses, only with prizes. 126 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,689 ALF, I'm awfully glad you're here. 127 00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,491 I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to you 128 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,626 about your amazing life. 129 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,862 Well, what do you wanna know? 130 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:47,566 Well, how far away was Melmac? 131 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,869 Well, that's a toughie. In feet? 132 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:53,505 Pretty far, I guess. 133 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:56,408 Well, what solar system is it in? 134 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,677 I don't know. 135 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,146 This may be a good time to tell you 136 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,114 I was a P.E. major. 137 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,550 [doorbell rings] 138 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,686 - 'It's me, Willie.' - Oh, great. 139 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,188 The fun police have arrived. 140 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:16,995 Hey, Willie. You didn't have to come rushing over. 141 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:20,632 I can't believe you'd run off like that. 142 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,068 You know how worried we were? 143 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:27,873 Neal, I'm sorry to burden you with our burden. 144 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,975 Well, that's alright. 145 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:31,576 Actually, we were having a good time. 146 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,645 He's a pretty fun guy. 147 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,914 Then you should see me in a dress. 148 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:40,285 In a white wig I look exactly like Estelle Getty. 149 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,989 I guess that's pretty obvious, though, huh? 150 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,993 Come on, ALF, let's go. You're still not off the hook. 151 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,662 Oh, yeah, the beating. 152 00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,164 Willie! 153 00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,700 Well, that's ridiculous. I never touched him. 154 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,636 But you want to, don't you? 155 00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,404 Huh? Huh? Huh? 156 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,941 Come on. Let's go. 157 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:08,380 Willie, he's shaking. 158 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,883 It's a ploy. Stop it. 159 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,558 You know, Willie, it might not be so bad 160 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,860 if you let ALF stay with me for a while. 161 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:24,029 Give us a chance to get to know each other 162 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:26,765 and Lord knows you two can use some time apart. 163 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:30,368 I don't think you really know what spending time 164 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,405 with ALF can mean. 165 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:36,374 Willie, hey, don't make him beg. 166 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,209 He's already agreed. 167 00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:43,381 I guess I could talk Kate into it. 168 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:47,686 But, uh, you're gonna need a reliable fire extinguisher 169 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,989 and fresh batteries for your smoke detector. 170 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,059 You gotta put 9-1-1 on speed dialing. 171 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,795 Trust me, you'll need the time. 172 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,496 Make out your will 173 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:02,734 and other than that, hey, have fun. 174 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,302 Thanks, Willie. 175 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:08,273 Lordy, lordy, I'm free at last. 176 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,443 Don't hate me. 177 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:19,417 [instrumental music] 178 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:24,522 (woman on phone) 'So, Thor, I never heard you on the party line before.' 179 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,491 'Tell me about yourself.' 180 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:28,860 Well, I'm pretty average. 181 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:33,331 I'm 6'5 with rippling abs. 182 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:37,335 But enough about me. What are your stats, babe? 183 00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:42,741 (woman on phone) 'Well, I'm 5'8, have dimples, azure-blue eyes' 184 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,977 'long, blond hair, and perfectly shaped--' 185 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,814 Oh, come on. I was honest with you. 186 00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:52,784 Hello? 187 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,419 Hello? 188 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,854 Touchy. 189 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,591 - Hi, ALF. - 'Hi.' 190 00:10:59,593 --> 00:11:02,160 Oh, ALF.. 191 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,064 I thought you were gonna clean up. 192 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,633 I did. Nice of you to notice. 193 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:12,003 That beer-can pyramid? Gone. 194 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,908 Oh, ALF, what happened to the window? 195 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,877 It's been broken for days. 196 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,979 You could just see it now. 197 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,449 [Neal sighs] 198 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:27,519 Did you call the electrician about Apartment 16? 199 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,789 You were serious about that? 200 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,391 I thought you were kidding. 201 00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,528 Why would I be kidding about an electrician? 202 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:40,832 I don't know. It didn't seem very funny to me, either. 203 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,134 I'll do it tomorrow. 204 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,371 Look, ALF, I don't wanna sound insensitive 205 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,307 but it has been a week and I thought we agreed that 206 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,443 while you were here you'd help out. 207 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,813 Well, I'm following the spirit of that agreement. 208 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,981 [yawns] Now I need a nap. 209 00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,850 [doorbell rings] 210 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,051 Oh, uh.. 211 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,655 Quick, uh, go to the bathroom. 212 00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,290 Okay. 213 00:12:07,861 --> 00:12:09,527 Now what? 214 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:10,862 Oh.. 215 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:14,999 Oh, chill out. I knew what you meant. Ha! 216 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,208 [gasps] Mrs. Watson. 217 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,043 How are you today? How's every little thing? 218 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,746 Hello, Mr. Tanner. May I come in? 219 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:31,049 Oh, gee, do you have to? 220 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:35,053 I guess I could reprimand you in the hall. 221 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,989 - Please, come in. - Thank you. 222 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,459 Look at this place. 223 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:48,566 Um, I don't have an answer for that. I-I wish I did. 224 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,971 We've had a lot of complaints about you 225 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,906 from the other tenants. 226 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,241 You have? 227 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,012 I'm afraid so. 228 00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:04,215 But I told them, he's new, he's down on his luck 229 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,652 his wife threw him out, and he's a little pathetic. 230 00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:11,456 Well, thank you. I appreciate your kind words. 231 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,292 I hired you because I felt sorry for you. 232 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:19,998 But even so, sinks have to flow, toilets have to flush. 233 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,833 That's the way the world works. 234 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,601 Well, uh, there's a lovely 235 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,670 simple wisdom in that, Mrs. Watson. 236 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,206 And I promise I'll do better. 237 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:32,210 Please, just remember why you hired me in the first place. 238 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,712 Don't test me, Mr. Tanner. 239 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,349 Being pathetic will only get you so far in life. 240 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,224 Don't worry about her. 241 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:48,760 We're gonna get through this together. 242 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:51,863 What, do you think you can get to some of those phone calls? 243 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,965 Don't test me, Mr. Tanner. 244 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:59,237 Oh, lighten up, Neal. Ha, ha! 245 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,339 Ha.. 246 00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,912 [scatting] 247 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:10,315 ¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶ 248 00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:12,717 ¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶ 249 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,953 ¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶ 250 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,288 ¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶ 251 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,823 ¶ Tutti frutti oh Rudy ¶ 252 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,358 ALF! 253 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,993 [scatting] 254 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,128 - ALF! - Hey, Neal. 255 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,165 Come on, let's party till the cows come home. 256 00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:29,634 By the way, when do they come home? 257 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,536 I don't mind that they're out late 258 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,206 what bothers me is they don't call. 259 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,708 ¶ Yeah what you do to me ¶ 260 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,142 ¶ Tutti frutti ¶¶ 261 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,411 [banging on wall] 262 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,214 Oh, no. 263 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,850 How long have the neighbors been banging on the walls? 264 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,052 Well, my guess would be all night. 265 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:51,422 And frankly, I find it annoying. 266 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,591 ALF, about this roommate situation, I just don't-- 267 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:58,096 I know, I know, I'm a little out of control 268 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,766 but that's because I'm young and foolhardy. 269 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:06,671 I've always depended on the kindness of strangers. 270 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:10,241 Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. 271 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,777 I don't hate you! 272 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:16,214 But you do have to learn a little consideration 273 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,082 for other people. 274 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,918 [knocking on door] 275 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,252 (male 'Police officers.' 276 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,354 'Would you open the door, please?' 277 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,090 And you have the nerve to lecture me. 278 00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,597 [instrumental music] 279 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,969 I'm sure I heard something. 280 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,671 Honey, what if it's a burglar? 281 00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:43,007 Don't worry, honey. I've got the lamp. 282 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,609 [screams] 283 00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,914 Oh. Hi, Willie. Hi, Kate. 284 00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:53,184 Oh. Neal, what are you doing here? 285 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,920 I couldn't sleep at my house. 286 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:58,089 - ALF? - Where? 287 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:03,461 It's okay. It's-it's okay. You're with friends now. 288 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,097 Willie, I tried. I tried reasoning. 289 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,699 I asked nicely. 290 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:11,936 How do you handle him? How do you afford him? 291 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:16,274 Well, Kate's working now and we're on our third mortgage. 292 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,177 We're desperately hoping that Lynn'll marry well. 293 00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,780 Hi, Uncle Neal. Are you okay? 294 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,350 He will be. Just take deep breaths, Neal. 295 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:28,086 That's-that's what we always did at first. 296 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,254 Oh, does this mean ALF is coming home? 297 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:32,457 No. No. Now, don't get you hopes up. 298 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,891 Maybe they're not done bonding yet. 299 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:37,095 Have you tried, Neal? I mean really, really. 300 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,563 We're done. 301 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,897 I mean, don't get me wrong. 302 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,066 He's a nice little guy. 303 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:45,069 We've actually had some nice conversations. 304 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,739 But I want him out of my house! 305 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,110 I'm sorry. 306 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:55,146 I haven't slept in four days. 307 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:57,482 Or was it nine? 308 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,484 Neal, calm down. Just relax. 309 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,653 Can I get you some coffee, uh, decaf? 310 00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,356 - Maybe a glass of warm milk? - Okay. 311 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:09,727 - With a flex straw? - I'll see if we have any. 312 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:10,928 [sighs] 313 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,964 Willie, it's awful. 314 00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:15,833 I don't know if he does these things on purpose or what. 315 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,702 Oh. 316 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,670 He does. 317 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,707 We just haven't been able to prove it. 318 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:27,378 Neal, why don't you do something about it? 319 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,015 I'll be right behind you when you tell him. 320 00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,217 Why should I tell him? 321 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,820 Because you know how I hate confrontation. 322 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,623 Neal, it's time you started to assert yourself. 323 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:41,125 Stop letting people walk all over you. 324 00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,762 You know, sometimes true bonding comes after great crisis. 325 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:48,833 - Maybe-- - Kate, give it up. It's over. 326 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,435 [sighs] 327 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,870 Just when I started to dream in color again. 328 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,810 [instrumental music] 329 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,826 [gasps] 330 00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,562 Oh, good Lord, he's dead. 331 00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:21,666 No, he's just full. 332 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,503 ALF. 333 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,106 ALF, it's Willie. 334 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:31,442 Willie. Willie Aames? 335 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,011 How's it going, bro? 336 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,415 Charles. 337 00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,017 Shouldn't you be watching the girls? 338 00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,754 He's delirious. We've gotta get him on his feet. 339 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,189 It won't be pretty. 340 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,859 Say, you don't have a couple of rain slickers around, do you? 341 00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:51,829 I'm afraid not. 342 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,632 Hey, ALF, you've gotta get up, ALF. 343 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,766 Huh? Yeah. 344 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,668 - Listen, can you hear me? - Yeah, yeah. 345 00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,839 ALF, Neal has something that he wants to say to you. 346 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,241 Sure. 347 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,009 N-Neal. 348 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:09,981 ALF, it's, uh, it's about our living arrangement, ALF. 349 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,383 Ah.. 350 00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,219 [burping] 351 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:16,854 Whew. 352 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,090 [burping] 353 00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:23,594 You know, he has eight stomachs. This-this could take some time. 354 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,096 [sighs] 355 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,998 You were saying? 356 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,602 [sighs] ALF, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to, uh.. 357 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,238 ...to leave, ALF. 358 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,506 Now, don't take this as a rejection. 359 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,509 I-I just couldn't handle that. 360 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,745 You're throwing me out? 361 00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,446 Moi? 362 00:19:42,448 --> 00:19:45,650 I'm aghast. 363 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:48,119 You. You're behind all this! 364 00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,988 You poisoned him against me. 365 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:54,492 I didn't have to do a thing. 366 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,595 I'm sorry, ALF. It's just not working out. 367 00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,964 Oh. 368 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:03,901 Well, in that case, thanks for my wonderful time. 369 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:08,005 [Neal sighs] Aw, ALF, you don't have to leave right this second. 370 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,708 Why don't you take your time and you can.. 371 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,780 Get out. 372 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,617 Okay, okay. 373 00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,954 Warm up the wagon, Willie. We're heading home. 374 00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:25,156 I think that's the right decision. 375 00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:28,492 I'll bring the car around front. 376 00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:30,761 I hope you're not mad at me. 377 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,765 No. It couldn't have been an easy thing for you to do. 378 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,102 We can still be friends, right? 379 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:41,806 Sure. We'll always have Paris. 380 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,977 Well.. 381 00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,445 ...bye, ALF. 382 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,914 Aw, come over here, you lug. 383 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,849 Oh. 384 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,284 [burps] 385 00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:55,653 Thanks. You moved the bubble. 386 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,789 Catch you around town, bro. 387 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,458 [laughs] 388 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,728 [burps] Oh, yeah, thanks. Wonderful. 389 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,000 [instrumental music] 390 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:13,104 I know you all missed me. 391 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:14,505 Most of you. 392 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,441 But please, no speeches. 393 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,911 Katy. 394 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:22,580 ALF-y. 395 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:26,317 - Did you miss me? - Need you even ask? 396 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:28,586 Ah, me too. 397 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:32,023 Come on, guys, I'm back. Let's party. 398 00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:35,626 Hey, you, legs. Get me a brewski. 399 00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,094 It's Lynn, ALF, and sorry 400 00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,330 you're not at Uncle Neal's anymore. 401 00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,732 Oh, yeah. I'm home. 402 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:46,570 Or as I affectionately refer to it, the gulag. 403 00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,072 Speaking of which 404 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,008 I believe you still have a punishment to work out. 405 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:54,679 - Oh, you're not still on that. - Attic. Now. 406 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,014 - But, Willie-- - Now! 407 00:21:57,016 --> 00:22:00,718 But I've always depended on the kindness of strangers. 408 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,621 - Don't hate me because I'm-- - Attic! 409 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,190 Tough house. 410 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,599 [instrumental music] 411 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,027 [laughs]